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10 Tips for a Successful Business Trip in Paris

10. Prior to leaving refrain from complaining to others that you have to take yet another business trip to Paris. You will get zero sympathy and a 12% chance someone punches you in the face

9. That 2 star hotel your company booked for you which is quite “charming” and is moments away from getting a 3 star upgrade is guaranteed to be dump. If in doubt send a work colleague a day ahead of you. You can borrow mine if needed. This is Mike. I now call him Recon Mike.

8. Forget trying to pretend you’re really French. French purposely named their cities so that non-natives cannot properly pronounce them. It’s not “Reims”, it’s “Reeeiiiiuuuummmmeeeesss”

7. No business meeting will start until the room is represented by atleast one Philippe, a Pascal, 2 Oliviers and a Gaspard. And Gaspard is on vacation until September

6. Showing up for a business meeting on a motorcycle (+ 5 points). Showing up on a moped…driven by someone else (- 25 points)

5. Accept that pate will be served at all meals

4. Be warned that French taxi drivers, when given the option to take an extremely generous 50 euro offer for a 3 mile fare or send 2 Americans walking home at 1am in the morning to their certain death..will choose the latter option

3. That friendly ribbing about France loosing in the last World Cup just cost you the business deal

2. The only no-smoking section is 40 miles outside of Paris

1. Refrain from documenting all business trip debauchery on Facebook while you’re wife is home with the kids. Trust me on this one.

83 Comments Post a comment
  1. Reblogged this on oftravelandfood.

    July 20, 2012
  2. nazarioartpainting #

    I was in Paris one month ago I was an incredible trip. Tha city is amazing and the food is like touch the heaven, delicious. The people was very kind and warm. I wish return again to this wonderful city. I love it.

    July 20, 2012
    • Are you sure you were in Paris, France?! XD

      July 21, 2012
      • donutmonday #

        The case of Pommery champagne purchased in Reeeiiiiuuuueeemmsss that just hit my Amex bill confirms that I was atleast nearby 🙂

        July 21, 2012
    • Agree with every word

      July 21, 2012
  3. lol.. cool post and you are so very right!! 🙂

    July 20, 2012
  4. Wow, this is moronic… congrats on an incredibly xenophobic, poorly written and culturally insensitive post. I should thank you for illustrating wonderfully, however, the reason Americans as a traveling public (and really as a nation) are not highly respected globally.

    July 20, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      perhaps but a future blog post documenting a delayed red eye trip on an United flight to triple digit heat in Phoenix Arizona will be way more cultural insensitive I promise!

      July 20, 2012
  5. So cool paris is awesome

    July 20, 2012
  6. I smiled at number 5. 🙂 Ah Americans and their ridiculous fear of pate! 😀 I LOVE pate and will easily gobble it all down. My father is French and he always makes pate for Christmas Eve. I’ve found if you don’t tell people what’s actually in it, they will eat it and like it (my American cousins are the pickiest eaters in the world–we told them it was just chicken and they didn’t know the difference).

    July 20, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      I actually really like pate! I just max out after about 5 straight days of pate sandwich platters 🙂

      July 20, 2012
  7. I’ve been to France 7 times and 6 times to Paris and have never been served paté. I often stay with French friends so it’s not like I’m stuck in an American bubble. Perhaps they figure it’s futile or won’t be appreciated.

    July 20, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      I like to think this was an act to show they accepted me as one of their own or it was some sort of initiation process. I was good either way

      July 20, 2012
  8. Does #1 even merit listing? I mean, do we need reminders about something like that?

    Yeah, come to think of it, we probably do…

    😉

    July 20, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      I am hoping that putting it in writing will remind me to stop doing this but probably not 🙂

      July 20, 2012
  9. Laughed at nearly the whole post. I just got back from Reims actually where I was a graduate student “baby-sitter” for a bunch of undergraduates studying French there. I think I repeated the name of that city at least 50 or more times to the kids trying to get them to say it right. 😉 We visited Paris too. Careful about how you treat the French about their soccer team. They’re likely to start a riot…literally.

    July 20, 2012
  10. very clever. I love it 🙂

    July 20, 2012
  11. So very true. Especially about the taxi driver. Which, nothing is worse than wandering around Paris when you do not know where you are going. I made this mistake when heading back to my hotel from Sacre-Coeur de Montmartre. I found myself in the overcrowded, dangerous Spanish district. Keep your friends close, and purses closer. Interesting advice!

    July 20, 2012
  12. This is hysterical. I especially liked #2.

    July 20, 2012
  13. NS #

    Superlike! Hilarious.

    July 20, 2012
  14. This is stark naked reality about a French business trip. OMG, stark naked reality.

    July 20, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      It’s the donut truth..glaze and all

      July 21, 2012
  15. More than the post and comments, I like the witty replies to the comments 😉

    July 20, 2012
  16. very useful tip 🙂

    July 21, 2012
  17. very funny particularly the last one……lol

    July 21, 2012
  18. Oh, Thanks! I’d love to travel to Paris one day :DD

    July 21, 2012
  19. Great post. It’s worth adding to be aware of bistros selling snails and red wine – you’ll blink and it’ll 5am!

    July 21, 2012
  20. Hadas #

    thanks for the lough

    July 21, 2012
  21. i love Paris..its my dream to visit in my life…

    July 21, 2012
  22. hahaha! Awesome hints! I can second each one of them. Only, that you will need at least one member of the business meeting whose name hinted the person was just the opposite gender. Jean-René .. why yes, sister and brother can have just the same name and be executives of the same company …

    Oh and an additional one: Never ever try to get on public transport with your luggage even if it’s only a small carry-on with stuff for two days …

    July 21, 2012
  23. C’est très drole. I think some people miss the possibility that it may be tongue-in-cheek with a little vérité thrown in. Enjoyed it.

    July 21, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      and a hearty dash of respect for my French brethren who made the trip both productive and fun..expect that one taxi driver at 1am.

      July 21, 2012
    • Totally agree Blue Beach Song! Lighten up people! Maybe the ones that are offended have never been to France, nor have witnessed their special sense of humor. Watch some French films, and you’ll totally get it!

      July 24, 2012
  24. Sweet Princess Style #

    I don’t care about what some people say, I love this post. Paris is not all romantic and fairytale-like. Neither are the french…

    July 21, 2012
    • Picky Reader #

      Actually if you don’t care what some people say, you generally don’t reply. Perhaps you meant “Despite what some people say…”

      July 22, 2012
      • Sweet Princess Style #

        Wow! You’ve proved how smart you are! How impressive!

        August 6, 2012
  25. Great post!

    July 21, 2012
  26. Hell, I live in Paris and I know your post is mainly in jest but a couple of points really ring true. Seems Palarmon can’t take a joke 😀

    I’m British, but I’ve been living her for 9 out of the last 11 years. I speak French but the problem is I *look* British. Taxi drivers *always* seem to take you on a “scenic route”… a route which goes round and about a bit, past some landmarks, just to clock up some extra miles.

    Best tip I can offer is always ask for a receipt (they can and must provide these if asked) and always make a note of the taxi information (it’s displayed on the left-hand side passenger window in the back on a sticker, along with fare info so you can make sure you’re not getting screwed).

    July 21, 2012
    • You can also use public transport or a bike instead.

      July 21, 2012
      • Well yes. That goes without saying, but there are many times when those solutions aren’t acceptable. Wearing a suit / have luggage? That’s a bike out. Maybe you’re not familiar with your destination or the transport system, or maybe you just arrived at rush hour, it’s the middle of summer and you don’t want to cram into a métro carriage with 200 other tourists and workers, all going home at 5.30pm on a Friday…

        July 24, 2012
  27. Hilarious! Regardless of the number of hotel stars… I’d take a free trip to Paris any day 🙂

    http://stepstochangetheworld.wordpress.com/

    July 21, 2012
  28. A friend of mine went to Denmark to study for a semester, and they served pate with everything as well. The first full sentence she learned in Danish was “I do not like liver pate.”

    July 21, 2012
  29. Have been to Paris twice. Would love to go again. So much to see.

    http://www.lowedown.net

    July 21, 2012
  30. If you didn’t enjoy Paris, you only have yourself to blame.

    July 21, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      on the contrary, I had a great time in Paris. Recon Mike, not so much.

      July 22, 2012
  31. Really want to go to Paris after reading this….

    July 21, 2012
  32. Pate at all meals? I’m game. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.

    July 22, 2012
  33. I’ve been to Paris for pleasure trips but never for business trips. My sister and her family live there and have for 25+ years (lifetime for her husband and children). You are right about the smoking. Let’s not forget the dogs in the restaurants, sitting in the chair next to you. One of my more memorable moments was when a French woman approached me on the street in Paris and asked me for directions. I like to think I had become a chic Parisian woman.

    July 22, 2012
    • Wow! Congrats on being mistaken for a native! Though I would ask if that person was French…And yes! The dogs are everywhere! They take their chiens very seriously. 🙂

      July 24, 2012
  34. I savor, cause I found just what I was looking for. You have ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

    July 22, 2012
  35. i find this hilarious and entertaining. i’ve been to paris 4 times, but never on business trip. a great info for me since i’ve never known about these facts, interesting.. and pate for all meals? mon dieu, je la deteste!

    July 22, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      More like “Fact”ish

      July 22, 2012
  36. Red Toenails #

    I’m going to Paris in March of next year. I am so going to try to keep an open mind, but I know what you mean! You are hilarious. Great job.

    July 22, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      You will love it

      July 22, 2012
  37. Reblogged this on aminukawu and commented:
    Visit paris

    July 22, 2012
  38. asterisk * photography #

    Too funny. Right on about the French naming of their cities! Kim*

    http://www.100days100ways.wordpress.com
    http://www.travelphotographyblog.wordpress.com

    July 22, 2012
  39. the only thing I like about Paris is its oysters.

    July 22, 2012
  40. but the real question is how to fit in the tour de france with a business trip to paris!

    July 22, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      I tried for the French Open but I got Bastille day instead.

      July 22, 2012
  41. Reblogged on frenchbook.wordpress.com (“Make it Big in the USA Just Because You Are French”).
    You are my first reblog. Kind of random, but I just love Recon Mike. Who doesn’t need him?

    July 22, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      Recon Mike and I appreciate the reblog!

      July 22, 2012
  42. Reblogged this on tstanoanescape2012 and commented:
    Business trips to Paris? AWWW, I remember my first rodeo. Please come back, or at least tell me where to follow you to.

    July 22, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      Thanks! I’ll be here. new post forthcoming soon

      July 22, 2012
  43. Fun post, and congrats on being freshly pressed.

    July 22, 2012
  44. Jose M. López #

    Point seven was so funny

    July 23, 2012
  45. Alyssa #

    Next year’s travel destination wold surely be Paris. Very charming post, by the way. Thanks for these list. 😀

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    colorado springs divorce lawyers

    July 23, 2012
  46. NO. 2 for real?

    July 23, 2012
    • donutmonday #

      I meant to say 40 miles outside France 🙂 Actually I don’t believe you can smoke indoors in most public places.

      July 23, 2012
  47. vincedicaro #

    I totally agree with #8 =)

    July 23, 2012
  48. Interesting tips. I might just apply on my next trip to the City of Lights.

    July 23, 2012
  49. Tiffany Blackburn #

    Enjoyed reading this & got a good laugh. I was in Paris a few months ago and would have to agree!

    July 23, 2012
  50. hahahah this is awesome!

    July 23, 2012
  51. Haha, some of these are so true! I’ll have to keep the rest in mind when I next go to Paris. Thanks for the great post! Looking forward to the next!

    July 23, 2012
  52. Sorry for replying to so many other comments, but they were quite hilarious! Great post and so true. My favorite French name is Xavier (za-vee-aay). Don’t ever try to pretend you’re French unless you’re not in France cause everyone loves to guess where you’re from no matter how perfectly you pronounce ANYTHING! At least most people assumed I was British or German…but I was in Strasbourg, so it’s kinda different.

    July 24, 2012
  53. Haha, love the “pate” one… I did something similar when doing my research for when packing for going to South Africa – check it out here – http://www.discoverafrica.com/blog/your-complete-business-travel-packing-checklist/

    July 27, 2012
  54. firstthinginthemorning #

    I have never been in paris, i think is an espectacular place. my dream is visit it!

    August 2, 2012

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